when next you are choking try this

here is a tip for when you are choking
in the morning you will be drinking tea or coffee or beer
and a bead of it will lodge in your esophagus
and you will not panic you will play
the dylan album
with bob on the cover holding a grey cat
and also there is a woman in red on a zigzag couch
and they are bathing in magazines
and all of this is seen through a hole in the door
it is very important that it is this specific album
because of the pitch and key
and tonal quality or something
anyway you will play it and sing along
your vocal cords will dislodge the bead of caffeine
or alcohol
in 50% of cases
and also the bead will act as a reverse throat capo
and allow you to sing below your octave
without your throat getting sore
this is a good time to break out
your cat power impression
in the other 50% of cases
it will worsen the choking and you will die
facedown in tea or coffee or beer
while bob sings it's all over now, baby blue
it is not yet a perfected science